I let myself drive into wonderland for my body is too weak to function and my eyelids are too firm to open again.. There, a dream started, I saw myself walking and looking into different places, travelling the world to be specific.. As the image of the peachy vistas flash into my mind, there are these feelings that I can’t express into words, happiness or excitement, maybe.. Each image only last for a minute and it substantially melt.. Everytime a shadow melts, a new reflection exhibits.. However, the memorable one was in London, it was autumn and melancholy.. There were birds that evidently proclaim their freedom by flying freely and leisurely unclasp their wings from its natural contour.. A song suddenly started,  “Another day, another life Passes by just like mine It’s not complicated Another mind, another soul Another body to grow old It’s not complicated Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you? Float down Like autumn leaves Hush now Close your eyes before the sleep And you’re miles away And yesterday you were here with me Another tear, another cry Another place for us to die It’s not complicated Another life that’s gone to waste Another light lost from your face It’s complicated Is it that it’s over or do birds still sing for you? Float down Like autumn leaves Hush now Close your eyes before the sleep And you’re miles away And yesterday you were here with me…” Then I woke up, left the song in my dream half-done.. I looked at myself, I was hugging a pillow, then I examined the peripheral, I saw you, looking into my eyes with such concern.. I smiled and you kissed my forehead, and abruptly said, “I love you”..

I let myself drive into wonderland for my body is too weak to function and my eyelids are too firm to open again.. There, a dream started, I saw myself walking and looking into different places, travelling the world to be specific.. As the image of the peachy vistas flash into my mind, there are these feelings that I can’t express into words, happiness or excitement, maybe.. Each image only last for a minute and it substantially melt.. Everytime a shadow melts, a new reflection exhibits.. However, the memorable one was in London, it was autumn and melancholy.. There were birds that evidently proclaim their freedom by flying freely and leisurely unclasp their wings from its natural contour.. A song suddenly started, 

“Another day, another life

Passes by just like mine

It’s not complicated

Another mind, another soul

Another body to grow old

It’s not complicated

Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?

Float down

Like autumn leaves

Hush now

Close your eyes before the sleep

And you’re miles away

And yesterday you were here with me

Another tear, another cry

Another place for us to die

It’s not complicated

Another life that’s gone to waste

Another light lost from your face

It’s complicated

Is it that it’s over or do birds still sing for you?

Float down

Like autumn leaves

Hush now

Close your eyes before the sleep

And you’re miles away

And yesterday you were here with me…”

Then I woke up, left the song in my dream half-done.. I looked at myself, I was hugging a pillow, then I examined the peripheral, I saw you, looking into my eyes with such concern.. I smiled and you kissed my forehead, and abruptly said, “I love you”..

The expression that I’ve forgotten a long time ago.. It’s slowly fading, the sense of it, I can hardly remember what it feels like.. Was it because I’ve been at its peak or maybe, the thorn of my life start to haunt me..? I’m tired of the spurious, ephemeral happiness; miserable and gloomy at its extreme to be exact.. “Should I endeavor to achieve a complete contentment or is it a natural occurrence?,” a nonsense query in my mind.. Experiencing a sustained misery, it makes me numb and be a puppet of my own spell.. A drug that I can’t escape just like how civilization poisoned my mind with the true definition of happiness.. “I’m here to remind you that I won’t leave you”, how solitude expressed itself.. The remaining ashes of it abruptly took me back to its coldness and a moment or two, I felt a severe pang inside, it crushed my soul.. Shh, I forgive you.. I never intend to forget you, or bury your skin, or neglect your silence.. Remember, you left and surrendered me to a cavern of sadness.. Shh, listen! Being a slave of depression, I’m used to it, don’t worry.. I’m used to how you treat me with your cold shoulder and leave me when the sunset appear.. You taught me a new persona, an invulnerable one, a  part of never-ending masochism.. Shh, I forgive you, happiness..

The expression that I’ve forgotten a long time ago.. It’s slowly fading, the sense of it, I can hardly remember what it feels like.. Was it because I’ve been at its peak or maybe, the thorn of my life start to haunt me..? I’m tired of the spurious, ephemeral happiness; miserable and gloomy at its extreme to be exact.. “Should I endeavor to achieve a complete contentment or is it a natural occurrence?,” a nonsense query in my mind..

Experiencing a sustained misery, it makes me numb and be a puppet of my own spell.. A drug that I can’t escape just like how civilization poisoned my mind with the true definition of happiness.. “I’m here to remind you that I won’t leave you”, how solitude expressed itself.. The remaining ashes of it abruptly took me back to its coldness and a moment or two, I felt a severe pang inside, it crushed my soul..

Shh, I forgive you.. I never intend to forget you, or bury your skin, or neglect your silence.. Remember, you left and surrendered me to a cavern of sadness.. Shh, listen! Being a slave of depression, I’m used to it, don’t worry.. I’m used to how you treat me with your cold shoulder and leave me when the sunset appear.. You taught me a new persona, an invulnerable one, a  part of never-ending masochism..

Shh, I forgive you, happiness..